Living Years Blog

This is a wonderful post that I recently came across and it must be re-posted with all credit to Paul Seiple who wrote it.  He has a great blog so you should should check it out here.

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I usually reserve my little space for pop culture ramblings but this month I want to take a different direction.

Over the past few months celebrity deaths have dominated the news. When your favorite singer, actor, or director passes away you cannot help but feel like part of you passes with them. This is mainly due to all the good times you shared with them even though they do not know your name.

When Michael Jackson died, memories of a past Halloween in which my family (excluding me, I was thirteen and too cool to participate) dressed the part and acted out the Thriller video in our front yard rushed through my mind. Being a music lover, I was sad that we lost one of the greatest figures in the music world, but I was also sad that the years have caught up with my family and no longer can they morph into dancing zombies. But then thinking of my dad jumping out from the bushes dressed like a bloody mummy and scaring kids brought a smile to my face. Don’t worry; kids loved our house on Halloween. They still do, the scaring may have died down but the candy is till top notch.

Recently John Hughes passed away. I was a teenager in the 80’s when Hughes’ films were all the rage. It’s safe to say that with The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink Hughes was a pioneer in the teen flick genre. To this day, Weird Science remains one of my favorite movies. When I read of Hughes’ death it brought back memories of gathering with my friends to watch these films. Once again, I was sad that the entertainment world had lost one of the greatest directors of my time, but I was also sad that I no longer can gather with my friends and partake in a movie with such ease. Then I thought about me and my friends sitting around imitating a drunken Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science and I smiled.

Over these last few months, death has also taken several people away that at some point in time were a part of my “real world.” In May, an ex-girlfriend passed away from cancer. Even though I had lost touch with her over the years, we shared many memories. As I was reading about the latter years of her life I learned that as she stared into the face of mortality she stayed strong. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain,” was her favorite quote. Her tenacity to remain positive is a lesson we all should learn.

The quote also sums up the life of another friend that recently passed. I met Mike Jones close to thirty years ago when I moved onto “the block.” (That’s what we all called our neighborhood, it wasn’t original, I know. But we were kids, cut us some slack.) I can’t recall ever seeing Mike without a smile on his face. And believe me, Mike had reasons to be negative. While the rest of the neighborhood kids rode their bikes and played football, Mike couldn’t. He was in a wheelchair. Mike never looked at his life in a negative light. He viewed his life as an opportunity. An opportunity to experience everything he wanted. And he did. Mike loved baseball. He got to work with the Danville Braves. He wanted to find a girlfriend. He did, and it turned into one of the most loving relationships I’ve ever witnessed. Mike was that person that made you a better person for knowing him.

I have many fond memories of Mike. One that sticks out is his love for wrestling. As a kid, I loved wrestling as well. I remember discussing the latest feuds on Georgia Championship Wrestling with Mike while I waited for his brother John to get ready to go outside and play. As John and I went outside Mike returned to his Atlanta Braves game with a smile on his face. He never let the fact that he couldn’t do everything the other kids could wipe that smile from his face. Mike faced many hardships throughout his life but through them all he celebrated life.

Celebrating life is something we all should do. No matter what obstacles are tossed in your life path, rejoice in the fact that you are alive.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to watch “Wildfire” Tommy Rich battle it out with the Masked Superstar. I’m sure Mike would approve.

“Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

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We recently came across photographer Phillip Tolendano’s latest project where he has taken photography, memoir, chronicle, and diary and evolved them together into a beautifully honest photographic journey. In “Days With My Father”, he tells the story of living with his father’s dementia following his mother’s sudden death.

Toledano writes simply and thoughtfully about his father’s condition, in ways both light-hearted and heart-breaking. Its loveliness is borne of its grace and truth; he’s not layering drama or trying to make anything seem like what it’s not. He’s sharing without adding any extra gild or lacquer, and sometimes that’s the hardest path of all.

“My dad is an amazing storyteller.  I’ve loved listening to him for as long as I can remember, and I’ve always taken pride in his Oscar-winner performances.  If he’s in a bad mood, I’ll ask him to tell me a story.  He embraces the role with such gusto, that his gloom dissipates instantly.  Here, he’s telling one of my favourites:  The Italian Fishmonger.  The man would say to my father, then a mischievous ten-year old kid:  Don’t squeeze the fish-it makes the eyes bulge!”